Crossroads
by Ansaraeh
Summary: Severus needs to make a choice, and learns some things he never knew. Oneshot. Will do more if there are enough requests.


**I do not own Harry Potter or any associated characters.**

Jamie Walker, the only vampire to ever attend Hogwarts, was waiting. She sat in an old unused classroom, the lights off and her back to the door. Her hands rested lightly on her thighs, her eyes closed, and her breathing even and deep. Jet black hair hung to her waist, shimmering slightly even in the darkness. She knew he would come, even if he didn't himself.

After meditating for ten minutes her golden eyes suddenly flashed open, and a split second later the door crashed open. A tall, hook nosed, dark haired young man stalked into the room, not noticing the still figure sitting on the floor.

"Stupid git," he snarled. "I swear if he does that again I'm going to kill him!"

"That's very dark of you, Severus," Jamie said calmly. Severus jumped and whirled around, his wand in his hand before he realized who it was.

"Jamie," he muttered. "Of course."

She smirked in the darkness and rose gracefully to her feet before turning to face Severus. "Of course?"

"No matter where I run away to," he grumbled, "you're always there. Even when I change the places I run to."

Jamie cocked her head at him. "Running away?" She tsked loudly. "Let me educate you in the rules of combat. If you survive it's not called 'running away', it's called 'making a tactical retreat'." Severus glared at Jamie who tried valiantly to hide her grin. "On a more serious note," she said quickly. "Who was it you were hoping to kill?"

Severus glowered at the girl. "Why should I tell you?" He sneered elegantly. "A Gryffindor no less!"

Jamie jerked her head up, looking as though she had been slapped. "Severus Snape," she said slowly. "After over six years of being best friends I would have thought you would know better." She looked at him sadly. "You know my secrets, yet you hardly ever share yourswith me." She shook her head in wonder. "I can hardly believe it. Everyone else in the school can easily confide in me, even people I hardly know. And yet, my best friend never does. I wonder what that says about me. Am I not trustworthy enough? Perhaps it's because I'm too close. Or maybe you're not my friend at all—"

"Stop it," Severus growled. "That's not true!"

"Then why?" She reached out to touch his hand, but he snatched it away quickly. Jamie blinked and realization dawned. "Ah," she said slowly. "I see."

Severus blinked. "You see what?"

She looked at him steadily. "You're afraid of my mind reading, aren't you? You know I need skin to skin contact for it to work properly." Severus looked away, not denying it. Jamie nodded. "I can understand that I suppose," she said softly. "I wouldn't want someone prying in my thoughts, especially if I couldn't trust them."

"No!"

Jamie blinked. "No what?"

"That's not why I don't want you reading my mind!"

"Then why?"

Severus sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "You're too good," he muttered at last.

Jamie frowned at him. "Too good?"

Severus nodded in defeat. "Yes. Too good. I don't want you to hear my thoughts because they're too dark for you. Your always so nice, innocent, gentle, I don't want to ruin that." He shook his head and looked at the floor. "I'd never forgive myself."

Jamie smiled with some amusement at the young man. "Severus, as much as I appreciate the thought, I think we need to get some things straight. First off, I am 170 years old." Her eyes twinkled merrily. "I've probably witnessed far more darkness than you, which brings me to my second point. I'm a vampire. How much 'innocence' as you put it could I have?"

Severus shifted uncomfortably. "You've never done anything bad, and you always act innocent and carefree."

Jamie studied Severus carefully then sighed and sat on a desk. "Appearances can be deceiving. I've seen…no…I've _done _more dark things than you have ever seen."

Severus snorted. "Like what?"

"I was turned and raised by a Dark Vampire. They aren't 'vegetarians' like I am now, and therefore he would only allow me to feed off humans like him." Jamie's eyes closed and she took a deep breath. "For fifteen years I killed innocent people just so I could live. People with families, people who loved them. I always tried to make it as quick and painless as possible, but there's only so much I could do." She grimaced. "Eventually I ran away and learned to feed off animals like I do now. Still no matter how much time passes I can never forget my last one," she whispered.

Severus shifted slightly. "Who was it?"

Jamie gave a sad, small smile. "I think her name was Jane. That's what her necklace said anyway." Jamie fingered the choker around her neck with beads that spelled out 'Jane' in big black letters. "She couldn't have been more than eight years old. She had somehow gotten separated by her family and as soon as he saw her my master saw a perfect opportunity." Her mouth twisted in disgust. "A child's blood is much more powerful than an adult's. Something about their innocence factor, I never really understood it. Anyway my master wanted me to feed off her so I would become more powerful, and better suited to my job as his second in command. At first I refused, but when he threatened to do the job himself I relented. Master liked to…play with his food before eating it." Jamie wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I made it as fast as I could, but I made the mistake of looking into her eyes right before I killed her. I could tell she was absolutely petrified, but in her eyes I could still see hope, innocence…even understanding." Jamie shook her head. "I ran away that night, and I haven't killed anyone since."

"I'm sorry," Severus whispered.

"So am I," she said softly. She sniffed loudly before looking at Severus and forcing a smile. "So now that I've beat down your theory about my innocence, do you have another reason why you don't want to confide in me?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm ashamed," he muttered at last.

"Of what?"

"My thoughts. I'm ashamed I think the things I do."

"Why?"

"Because they're dark," he spat. "Sometimes I want to _kill_ things I get so angry. Sometimes I feel _pleasure _when I hurt someone. _Pleasure_! You hated causing them pain, you did those things because thereI'm not good, I can't ignore the darkness inside of me, and I can't forget the things I witness. I'm just…not a good person."

Jamie remained silent for a moment, looking at the back of the dark figure in front of her. Slowly and carefully she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. He stiffened at first, then slowly relaxed. Jamie waited another moment before asking her first question again. "Who?"

"Who what?"

"Who made you angry?"

"Oh," Severus chuckled darkly. "Malfoy."

She smiled slightly. "What's this? Not James? I'm shocked."

Severus snorted. "So am I," he said dryly. "For once it was not Potter who put me in a foul mood."

"What did Lucius do?"

Severus remained silent so long Jamie thought he wasn't going to answer, but he surprised her with an answer. "He was tormenting a first year Hufflepuff, Muggle-born." He tensed and she rubbed my cheek against his back comfortingly. "He wanted me to join him, said it was _fun._"

"What did you do?"

Severus snorted wryly. "I sneered at him and commented on how manly it was to pick on someone who couldn't even fight back. He got angry and tried to curse me, but I easily blocked it. I thought he would leave the girl alone after that so I turned to leave. But he..." He took a deep ragged breath before continuing. "He turned to the first year and started hexing her into oblivion." Severus was shaking now and Jamie continued to hold him, listening silently. "I intervened as quickly as I could, but the damage was done. The girl's currently taking up a bed in St. Mungo's," he said bitterly. "They don't know if she'll wake."

"Do you regret it?"

"Provoking him, yes. Intervening, no." He sighed heavily. "The thing is, now Malfoy's going to be spreading the word that I'm a _blood traitor_," he spat the word out as if it was something poisonous. "My uncle is not going to be happy. Nor is the Dark Lord come to think of it. What was it he said to uncle? Oh yes, I had _potential,_" he sneered.

Slowly Jamie released him and walked around so she could face him. He looked steadily at the floor and she tentatively placed her hand on his face and raised it to look at her. When his eyes finally met hers Jamie didn't even need to read his thoughts to understand.

"You're frightened." Severus twitched slightly, ready to protest but she easily over rode him with a soft voice. "You're frightened of what you may become, of what your uncle wants you to become."

Silence confirmed her suspicions.

Jamie looked up at him silently for a moment, letting him think. She knew what he had been thinking, what a part of him wanted to do. She knew that a part of his soul longed to belong to something, even if it meant hurting others. Jamie knew a part of him enjoyed inflicting pain on another. He knew that she knew, and he was ashamed of himself. He expected her to run, to shun him like all the others. He thought he deserved it.

Carefully Jamie took his head between her hands and brought his head down until their foreheads were touching. She closed my eyes, relaxed and projected her feelings into his mind. She knew he when felt them by his sharp intake of breath and after a moment she pulled away. Severus stared at me wide eyed.

"What was that?" he asked in wonder.

"I projected my feelings into your mind," Jamie said smoothly. "What did you feel?"

Severus rubbed his forehead with an unsteady hand. "I felt…compassion, understanding, solace, comfort, and…something else."

"Did you see what you expected?"

"No."

She smiled gently and smoothed his hair away from his eyes. "You're not alone in this world, Severus. I'm here for you. So are many others if you would stop being so cranky sometimes," Jamie teased. She was rewarded with a faint smile that made the room seem a little less dark. "You don't have to be afraid. You don't have to follow your uncle into darkness. You have a choice." Severus looked away, but she forced him to look at her. She looked him straight in the eye, meaning every word she said.

"You have to stop fearing the future, Severus. Forget the future and the past, and live in the present. Make decisions that you won't regret. That's all anyone can do. You don't have to be afraid," she whispered.

"How can I not be? One way leads to the Dark Lord, and the respect and the sense of belonging I've always wanted. The other leads to the Light, but I will continued to be shunned and bullied by others, just because I'm in Slytherin! I don't know what to choose!"

Jamie looked at him sadly. "One road leads to Darkness and the other to the Light. I may be a vampire Severus, but I will _never_ work for Voldemort. I'm done with killing and hurting others."

Severus frowned at her. "What are you saying?"

"I've chosen my path, Severus. You are going to have to choose yours. The Darkness and Voldemort, or the Light and me." Silently Jamie slipped past him and slipped out the door, leaving Severus alone in the dark classroom, thinking.


End file.
